Body Image and Approval

Why do I feel like I need his approval to think I’m hot? 

I know I’m beautiful on the inside. Or I like to think I am. Even if other people don’t see it. People always say “It’s the personality that matters” but no one ever judges someone SOLELY on personality. Well… maybe occasionally if they’re a real pain in the ass… But what about normal people? I’m a “fluffy” girl. I’m cool with that. But a lot of people aren’t and I don’t like it. Sure, they’ll get to know me, and want to be my friend, but they’ll never see me as a romantic interest or a booty call or a hookup. Big girls want action too! I know there ARE some guys out there that prefer girls with meat on their bones, but those guys seem to be lessening in numbers. What happened to a time when guys went after the more voluptuous women because it was a sign of health? Now all a guy wants is an anorexic size 0 as his arm candy while he wears his jeans down around his knees. Where’s the class?! It just seems like the odds are against me. I was on a college campus for about two months. Guys wouldn’t even give me a second look! It’s not like I’m overweight and look it. I’m just heavier and proportioned so that I carry it evenly, though I have a bit of a tummy. I know I don’t wear the right clothes for my body shape, but I’ve been working on it. It’s SO frustrating to shop when you’re over size 12 because apparently anything bigger than that is “plus sized” and “specialty” and no one really carries it. And when you go to a store for plus sized girls, the pants are shaped for the “butt in the front” and “junk in the trunk” and all with elastic waistband. Shirts are designed for overly-busty girls who are heavy around the middle as well. I’m not all that busty! I don’t have “butt in the front”! I want regular people clothes!! I just feel like a skinny girl stuck in a big girl’s body. I want to flirt with all the guys shamelessly and not have to think that the look in their eyes is “Is that chubby girl trying to make a move on me?” I had a person who told me a was beautiful… He said I was beautiful, that I had gorgeous eyes, that he loved my body… and then he goes and starts seeing this other girl. Why doesn’t he think of me as dating material?! I’m at an age where I really want to just be having the time of my life, dating guys, partying, trying all different things… and yet I feel I’m stuck in between a high school-er and an adult. I’ll be the first to say I’m not independent. But then again, I am thrust into an adult world because I’m not in school anymore. I want to go to beauty school so I can get a vocational education and get out in the world. I just hope my early twenties improve in these terms. I just want my life to get exciting before I get tethered down for years and years. I want to live!

Please- Compliment the “fluffy” girl in your life. Tell her you like her hair, her eyes, her shirt, her shoes… just something to make her feel good. Don’t we all need a mood boost once in a while? I know I sure could use a morale boost at this point.